True or false: sexual education is very inaccessible, underwhelming and needs to be reformed immediately. I think most people would agree that it’s true. The state of sexual education in the United States of America has so many faults, including the fact that it’s taught from a cisgender-heterosexual point of view and, many times, it’s abstinence-only education. However,...
Author: Mickey Valentine (Mickey Valentine)
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3 Black Femme Anthems You Need to Hear
When you’re Black and femme, you need all the anthems you can find. I currently live in a suburb of the greater Boston area. However, I grew up a working-class child of Jamaican immigrants in both the Wakefield and Willamsbridge sections of the Bronx. I grew up near five beauty supply stores, a few Golden Krusts and...
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How to Prevent Pregnancy When Your Abuser is Using Reproductive Coercion
[Content warning: Mentions of intimate partner violence.] Note: Most of this information is more specific to folks with vaginas, since most forms of birth control are designed for them. However, if you are a person with a penis, at least one of these methods will work for you. Many people know the various forms of abuse that can...
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Teach Me How to Poly(am): I’m Polyamory-Curious But Unsure of the Rules
Dear Mickey, I’m not currently in a relationship but I have often thought about polygamy. I have contemplated being in a relationship where me and my partner have sex with each other but we also have sex with people outside of our relationship. The only compromise I would ask for is that we don’t talk...
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According to Toni Braxton, Autism Can Be Cured
This just in: autism can disappear! Or that’s what Toni Braxton believes. According to an interview on Access Hollywood, Toni Braxton’s son Diezel no longer “suffers” from autism. She mentions in a quote that her son shows “No signs of autism. He’s our social butterfly. He’s the one who plays with friends and hangs out...
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Ableism and Anti-Blackness Go Hand in Hand
When you’re Black and autistic and the police are anti-Black and ableist, you’re in trouble. Recently in the news, there was a story about a behavioral therapist by the name of Charles Kinsey was shot by police accidentally while trying to protect his autistic client, 21-year-old Arnoldo Rios. When asked about why he shot Kinsey,...
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Polyamory Doesn’t Change How Partners Should Deal With Mental Illness
Polyamory is not a cure-all. Having a significant other — or more than one –doesn’t change brain chemistry. I’m polyamorous. I enjoy being polyamorous. But I’m still mentally ill. And, not surprisingly, people don’t understand that. As much as the “your partner cannot fix you narrative” seems to be understood in monogamous relationships, that particular...
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4 Major Tips for Self-Care When You’re Black in a White Supremacist World
It’s hard to not see it: White supremacy is everywhere. In a place where people think that antiblackness is a thing, where non-black people of color are also complicit and people are constantly sharing videos of Black bodies being harmed, it’s hard to be drained the fuck out. Especially during recent events, more and more of...
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A Disabled Bean’s Guide to Domming
I’m disabled. I’m also kinky. I have a pretty cane that I use during the colder seasons. It is my best friend. I walk everywhere with it and it has helped me from falling on my ass. I also wield a flogger, handcuffs and a Hitachi magic wand. I am into orgasm denial (both giving...
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When You’re Black and Depressed, It’s Even More Difficult to Get Help
Content Warning: Suicide Depression sucks. It’s the reason I’ve screwed up in the past and will screw up again. It’s the reason it’s been hard for me to do everything and anything in life. Getting up to take a shower can be a challenge. I can’t eat as much food as I used to. Talking...