Figure out a way to create a body positive environment within your personal limits and which center methods that excite and nourish you. Dear Virgie, I am an elementary school teacher. Recently, there has been some teasing around weight that happened in my classroom. My co-teachers and I really want to introduce the idea of...
Tag: Dear Virgie
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Dear Virgie: My Fat Friend Won’t Date Me Because I’m Fat
Dear Virgie: “It really sucks to be crushing on a fat babe who doesn’t know how to see that they are worthy of love, and instead is perpetuating their own dehumanization.” Dear Virgie, I have a fat friend who I think won’t date me because I’m fat. At first I thought I was being paranoid,...
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Dear Virgie: Should We Stop Using the Words “Thin” & “Fat?”
Dear Virgie, Do you think we should stop using words like “thin” and “fat,” since they draw attention to size differences and only increase the divide between people? Dear Friend: This is a complex question. On the one hand, I totally see where you are coming from. I mean, we know that “thin” and...
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Dear Virgie: My Friend Started Dieting & Isn’t Talking To Me Now
Dear Virgie, about a week into her diet, my friend started distancing herself from me. She stopped reaching out and communication went dark. Dear Virgie, My closest friend and I are having a struggle. We’ve known each other for about one and a half years and have been next to inseparable a lot of that time. We hung...
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Dear Virgie: I Compare Myself to Other Fat Women
If we believed that each and every person was important and stand-alone valuable, we would not look to others and think, “why does she have that thing and I don’t?” Dear Virgie, Someone I have known since childhood got married recently. Her husband is really attractive to me and she and I are about the...
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Dear Virgie: Why Don’t More Fat Activists Talk About Being Fat, Single and Happy? (Part 2)
I recently started giving myself permission not to flirt or do any romantic labor whatsoever, and holy shit, it’s amazing! Dear Virgie, I’ve wanted to see more writing from within the fat community about crafting a good life in the absence of romantic relationships/partnerships. It seems like a “hot potato” issue that many FA writers...
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Dear Virgie: Why Don’t More Fat Activists Talk About Being Fat, Single and Happy? (Part 1)
Fat activists balk at the opportunity to explore being fat and single for myriad reasons, including a desire to empower fat people by imagining them having happy sexual, romantic lives. Dear Virgie, I’ve wanted to see more writing from within the fat community about crafting a good life in the absence of romantic relationships/partnerships. It seems...
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Dear Virgie: My Fat Friend Won’t Talk About Fatness
Dear Virgie, I have a friend who is fat but doesn’t identify as fat. She gets visibly weirded out whenever I talk about my fat politics. She has never outright said anything fatphobic, but she definitely hasn’t ever done or said anything fat-positive. She has never done anything awful but I am losing my patience...
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Dear Virgie: What is the Best Piece of Professional Advice You’ve Gotten?
Thanks to one great piece of advice, I have been saved from doing a lot of emotional and physical labor that would have discouraged me and possibly hurt my career. Dear Virgie, What is the best piece of professional advice you’ve ever gotten? Dear friend: I can easily tell you the best piece of professional advice...
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Dear Virgie: Why Are People So Mean to Fat People?
People are mean to fat people because they are bigots. Our culture uses the language of fatness to articulate other cultural anxieties around gender, race and class. Dear Virgie, I recently got harassed because of my size twice in one week. And it leaves me asking: why are people so mean to fat people? ...