‘The Umbrella Academy’ presents Vanya as a villain—and she is understood as such by many fans—but, in truth, she is the one who has been the most victimized. This essay contains spoilers for seasons 1 and 2 of ‘The Umbrella Academy.’ It also discusses childhood, familial, and partner abuse. The Umbrella Academy is a flawed,...
Tag: gaslighting
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4 Things People Do That Harm Survivors of Sexual Violence
From derailing, to gaslighting, to unsolicited advice: people derail important conversations held by survivors of sexual assault. TW/CW: this article discusses sexual assault/violence as well as gaslighting of a sexual assault survivor By Gloria Oladipo Sometimes, to shame the devil, we have to share our secrets. Especially when it comes to exposing predators in our...
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Hysteria By Any Other Name: How Media Rely On The Trope Of Emotional Womanhood
Complicit and complacent media change women’s narratives with a series of techniques and alter the way we internalize their stories. Content Warning: mentions of sexual assault By Leslie Kay Jones, PhD On Jan. 15th, 2018, US Olympic Gymnast Simone Biles tweeted with the hashtag #MeToo, naming herself as one of over 250 survivors of sexual...
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Online Dating is Terrible and I Give Up
All the oppressive things we already have to deal with in our material world only become amplified in the virtual world. I quit, y’all. I put in a solid few years on dating apps and I’ve decided that I’m not carrying them with me into 2019. This isn’t to denounce dating apps as being completely...
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Meghan Markle’s Father is Being Abusive and the British Media Keeps Condoning It
Thomas Markle exhibited what can only be described as manipulation and emotional abuse under the guise of concern and love. This op-ed includes mentions of emotional abuse I haven’t spoken to my father in over two years. I sent him one last email detailing why I no longer wanted to be in contact with him,...
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How “Good” White People Silence People of Color Every Day
“Good” white people uphold and support white supremacy because they are unwilling to see their own roles within systemic racism. Back on the tail end of 2016 I wrote a status update on Facebook which read something to the effect of, “When POC speak on genocide they are talking about subjugation and murder. When white...
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The Allegations Of Emotional Abuse Against Gal Gadot Shouldn’t Be Ignored
She’s supposed to be Wonder Woman but she’s not. Her name is Gal Gadot, she is problematic, and she should answer for these allegations. [TW– discussion of sexual assault and victim-blaming] Gal Gadot is on everyone’s radar right now, not just for her portrayal of Wonder Woman but for seeming to be a real life...
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What Do We Do When Social Justice Language is Weaponized in the Service of our Oppressors?
Language is malleable, yes—but we cannot allow social justice language, particularly the type of language specifically invented to empower victims of abuse, to work against us, to re-silence us, again and again. [TW- Mention of sexual assault] A couple of weeks ago, when the #MeToo campaign was making its way across the social media landscape,...
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White People: Stop Weaponizing Our Emotions To Avoid Your Racism
My habit of showing my humanity via having feelings, is routinely used by white people as ammunition to discredit anything I have to say. By Shannon Barber Don’t call me angry when what you mean to say is: this Black person has full human emotions and I’m uncomfortable. Or if you mean: I feel personally...
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Donald Trump is Just Like My Abuser
by Kristance Harlow Content warning: Emotional abuse. I have not watched the presidential debates. I did not watch the GOP debates before that. I do not watch any of Trump’s speeches. I have heard the criticisms about my choice, that I am choosing to be ignore the reality of current national politics or that I’m...