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Online Dating is Terrible and I Give Up

All the oppressive things we already have to deal with in our material world only become amplified in the virtual world. I quit, y’all. I put in a solid few years on dating apps and I’ve decided that I’m not carrying them with me into 2019. This isn’t to denounce dating apps as being completely...


When Sexual Boundaries Are Ignored Because Men Enjoy Our Pain

I thought I didn’t like sex, but really, I just didn’t like feeling like shit afterwards. This essay discusses coercive and violating forms of sex in detail. I tried to enjoy sex with men—cis and otherwise—for several years before I began seriously questioning my sexuality and gender. I hated a lot of things about sex...


The Actual, Factual Best Lipsticks For Oral Sex

The quality of each of these lipsticks ensures that you won’t come back up looking like a sad clown after making someone cum. There isn’t anything quite like lipstick to make me feel ultra-femme — with the exception of liquid liner and a perfected cat-eye. My Sephora cart is pretty much always littered with a...


Navigating Desire In The Wake of #MeToo

We have important steps to take in learning about desire, consent and pleasure-based sexual experiences in the wake of #MeToo. [TW: this piece contains discussions of #MeToo and sexual violence in varying forms.] Started almost ten years ago by Tarana Burke, #MeToo has spread (and in some ways, been co-opted) and become synonymous of the large-scale...


Romance Novels to Read During the Age of #MeToo

#MeToo is challenging mainstream society to critically examine long-held assumptions about sexual scripts and femme pleasure. By Michelle Carroll Lately it feels like it’s nearly impossible to go a single day without hearing a viral story of sexual violence. And of course, this is a good thing. Finally the pain and shame that was previously...


Romance is Not Universal, Nor is it Necessary.

As sexist and misogynistic as it is heteronormative, this inordinate value placed on romance and marriage is consistently used to devalue single and unmarried women, painting us as inherently unworthy and pathetic, too difficult and too picky. Romance is not universal, or necessary. However, due to the way that romance has been heralded as a...